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pauliemc

Idiot Alert

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Some people just need a slap, We have all hade one of "those" customers at some time or other. I had one today.

He rang me yesterday fuming about his Lotus 3 (thats one of my Black lotus models with a 3x3 head stock) He said that the neck had warped to the point that the strings were no longer in line with it, & even came right off of the side of the neck close to the body. I take great pride in my Lotus models so I had him bring it to me ASAP so I could see what was happening, & if need be I would replace the guitar. He agreed to get it to me today.

He arrived with the guitar early this mornin. I opened the case & immediately had to tell him it was nothing to do with me, Not my problem.

You see, the issue with this guitar is not that the neck is warped. The neck is actualy bolt straight & level as the day it was built. The issue, or should I say issues - are

01) This utter idiot tried to install a floating trem onto it.

02) He explained that he had used the centre glue joint on the body to line the trem up to the neck, If you know my guitars you will know that there IS NO central glue joint on a lotus - its all carved as a single piece - he was following a piece of timber grain.

03) The trem was salvaged from an old Ibanez that he had broken. the trem itself was in excellent condition, but it was from a Universe model. For those very few out there who dont know, the Ibanez universe has 7 strings. the lotus 3 only has 6.

04) When I explained the problem to him he looked at me like I had 2 heads & said "Im only going to use 6 of the fu*@ing saddles you idiot, now fix the thing like the warrenty says"

I tried to explain that warranty will not cover it if you cut a big hole in the guitar, install the wrong trem, out of line with the neck, install the wrong radius locking nut, & make a mess of the back of the headstock drilling holes for the nut retaining screws. Im fairly certain the truss is seized with the CA glue he used to try stabilise the nut aswell.

Needless to say im fixing nothing, I showed him the door. He left shouting back that he was going to sue me for not living up to the warranty. Idiot

The worst part of all of this is that he has the only Lotus I have ever made from Claro walnut.I have never found another billet large enough.

I know the store he got it from & that he had to cough up at least €5000.00 for it. & now its ruined

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I think I would have lost my temper.I hope you told him get out and you never want to see his stupid face again.I might have promised him a back alley beat down.

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I dunno man. you need to try keep your cool in those situations (band saw so close to hand & all). But I think he got the message.

Idiot or not, if you dont know that a 65Kg German sheppard / St Bernard mix growling at you means you crossed a line then you need professional help. the dogs picked up on my vibe even if he didnt. he is probobly lucky they are as well trained as they are.

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You have to draw the line somewhere...for me that line would have been crossed.I am not the most patient guy though.I was sort of famous for blowing up on idiots at construction sites...You haven't lived until you have told the owner of a Coca Cola bottling plant to "get a hardhat or get the f*** out of my work area while I am working overhead you moron!"

My office did get some complaints.

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I've had some dumb customers (my most recent being the worst), but nothing like that. If you would have paid him anything I would have facepalmed my head off.

Keeping your cool is very under appreciated. When I worked in NYC I got plenty of practice staying calm in the face of irate people. Nothing will piss an angry person off more than somebody who won't get angry back at them. You'll come out on top every time. It's especially effective if other people are around. They'll eventually realize how insane it looks to be red faced and yelling while the other person doesn't look bothered.

It also works with physically aggressive people. Losing a fight is one thing, but threatening a person who shrugs you off like you're a ten year old kid is humiliation on a whole different level. (Shrugging a person off and backing down are two very different things, just to be clear.)

Edited by NotYou
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I would have had a hard time keeping my cool just knowing a guy ruined all my hard work

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HAHAHA. I got a call from the store that sold it to him today. aparently he went in shouting the odds about how they had better get his guitar fixed, They asked if they could drop by to talk about what would be involved, & a cost to repair it. they were thinking of just replacing the trem & having me do the work. to which the idiot agreed.

I did not.

I proposed to repair it by :

01) installing a quilted maple top. to hide the hidious cavity he had cut & take the new bridge, which would be a Gotoh floyd, not the floyd special they want to use.

02) I would also need to veneer the front & back faces of the headstock & re-seat the nut.

03) Remove & replace the truss rod as it is seized with glue & will not "be OK" as idiot suggests it will be.

04) re-radius the fretboard to suit the bridge & nut.

Of course all of this will also include

a full refret & set up.

shielding all the cavities & installing electronics.

Stripping & refinishing in Nitro

NO discounts

All coming to €2700.00

the shop wont pay. He is sueing us both now :D

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With almost any product, if you modify it, you void the warranty. And yeah, if this is gonna be your top of the line model, then the repairs done to it should be top of the line as well. I would expect nothing less from a guitar with your name on it!

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All coming to €2700.00

lol if i remember right just a few years ago you weren't charging much more than that for a lotus.

btw i would like to meet this guy so i could kick in in the balls if i ever win the loto the a lotus is on the list of toys to buy just because i think they end the neck joint debate.

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I'd be willing to bet money he won't sue. People like that get off on that kind of thing. I'm sure he has a friend or family member with a halfway normal brain who will tell him it's a lost cause.

Also, if he yells at you and tells everybody his version of the story, he'll always be "right". If he sues, he risks having a judge tell him *officially* that he's full of sh*t. When you break down the thought process of an idiot like that, it's not about money. Somewhere deep in his irrational, irate brain he knows it was all his doing and he'd have to be completely insane to take legal action.

But, he could be insane. People have done stupider things. I'd still make that bet he won't wont sue, though.

Edited by NotYou

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The cool thing is lawyers aren't allowed in small claims court. The judge would have to hear his insane ranting right from the source.

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Not all countries have a small claims court. Legal system varies around the globe

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I thought Paulie was American. I guess I never actually checked, though.

There a lot of Austrialians on this site too. I tend to assume a person is one or the other automatically.

And then there's Wes, from Texas. What the f*ck is that all about?

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Holy crap Paulie, that's a good one, I'd of loved to have seen you in action when that joker walked in the door.

Who else has got an "idiot alert" story?

By the way guys, Paulie is over in Dublin, Ireland........where they are not exactly famous for holding their tempers in the face of idiots. :D

SR

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I just read a book about the Irish revolt to try and get their country back from the British.Of course,from what I understand it was the Romans who had it before the British.I don't know why it is that empires always seem to want to take over the entire world.

About to start on The Lion Of Ireland.

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I don't know why it is that empires always seem to want to take over the entire world.

They wouldn't actually be empires otherwise, would they?

SR

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Sure they would.Just your own Country plus a few outlying areas makes you an Empire.Like us with Hawaii and Alaska,though we would never admit it.

I don't think you need the entire world for Empire status,and it's too much for one government to hold

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I'm not sure I would be able to keep calm like Paulie. I have never had a customer come back and had stuff like that done to "my" guitars. I even have a hard time finding "my" guitars for sale. Gets the pulse going, thinking, "what the f**k, we designed it together to fit you needs perfectly, I spent all those hours to perfect that vision and now you run off and put it up for sale". I can't imagine having someone showing up with a guitar destroyed like that. I would have been furious.

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All coming to €2700.00

lol if i remember right just a few years ago you weren't charging much more than that for a lotus.

Yea thats right. I had a thing about going too far past the €2000.00 mark. I was cutting my profits to hell, only charging for 50 hours labour, no mark up on hardware, no additional costs for changes, all sorts of dumbass things to try get my guitars to be as affordable as off the rack models.

But I have since come to my senses, If someone expects me to give over 200 hours of my time - then they pay €2000.00. & materials, hardware, design changes bla bla bla are all extra. the markups some dealers were putting on my guitars kinda got me into line, Why should I hand over a comissioned archtop for €1900.00 to a dealer who then passes it on for €4000.00. screw that.

As to our friend, Mr Idiot. If I ever see him again i will be amazed. If I get a solicitors letter or any other legal document I rekon i will frame it & hang it on the wall in the shop :D

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€4000 would have bought him a lot of crack, although it seems not much more than he already appears to have smoked.

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