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Physical Static & Audible Static On Pickguard - Help!


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Alright guys & gals, time to lend a helping hand to a confused noob'.

I just purchased a PRS EG SE (so many abbreviations!) whose stock pickups were replaced with a set of Fender Noiseless single-coils. Well, upon plugging the guitar into my amplifier at home, I noticed a static-y noise and thought it was the single-coils. I was wrong.

Upon further inspection, I noticed that the "static" noise was being picked up by the pickups whenever my fingers came into contact with the pick guard. I play guitar with a near-constant contact of my pinkie and ring finger on my picking hand resting somewhere between the bridge pickup and touching the actual pick-guard. So, I was hearing the contact of my hand against the pickguard's surface. So I had figured this was a mere small grounding issue. I contacted the seller, and he agreed....

But, then I noticed something stranger yet. While sitting on my favorite kitchen stool and noodling around with the guitar totally unplugged, I happened to run my hand across the pickguard... I heard the sound of "static-cling". So I ran my fingers across a few more times to make sure this was not a one time anomaly. There is a physical static-issue somewhere on this guitar.

What should I do to fix it? Take the pickguard off and take some picks to show you all? I am extremely noobie to all this guitar repair... help me out!

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Immediately send the guitar to me, it is HAUNTED! I will do my best to drive the demon out. My dad used to be a minister; I will call him to see if he can walk me through the procedure. If I can not rid the guitar of the specter, then I will have to hold it indefinitely for observation.

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