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The Trajic Love Life of Wally the Walnut Gnome....or Wally really needs a girlfriend.


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It has been sounding like Annie is getting nothing but Jason Isbell. Not so. Mostly it is blues in my garage. And this guy is featured. This is a video from my favorite local venue...an

Now it is mostly tweaking the girl. I'm going to have to cut her a neckline soon. SR SR

I know right? It's my own damn fault. I gave her a mouth and left her eyes for last. What a weapon I armed her with. I should have given her eyes and left her mouth for last. I was afraid of the

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Annie is bustin' out of that oak, or at least she's trying to. The old oak is not too keen on letting her go. He likes her spirit.

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That under bite is driving me crazy. I'm going to have to do something about that, maybe sooner than I planned.

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SR

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Is there a point where her ex-Rottweiler balls are "uncomfortably large" enough that people start giving you sideways glances, and a point where they're so small that people wonder if you're too paranoid about the previous point to adequately expression feminine attributes in Gnomish caricature? 😄

She's also got a very Finnish potato nose. @Bizman62 would be able to see this. I went to visit a Finnish wood turner to help with Finnish/English/botanical wood naming translations in his book a while back. He showed me his storage and working areas and he happened to collect and display faults and damaged parts of trees that grew looking like something ladies don't wave around in public. He never said that this appearance is what they were collected for (dozens!), but it was obvious enough that my wife and I exchanged glances that said "Say nothing, please don't laugh. I'm honestly trying not to laugh. Seriously. Nod and agree to everything".

They were merely "arbitrary expressions of strange wood growth". Indeed. 🙈

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6 hours ago, Prostheta said:

Is there a point where her ex-Rottweiler balls are "uncomfortably large" enough that people start giving you sideways glances, and a point where they're so small that people wonder if you're too paranoid about the previous point to adequately expression feminine attributes in Gnomish caricature? 

There used to be. Back in Molly's day that was a problem. Now I'm old enough to be able to get away with that sort of thing. As long as I don't cackle. Two snap answers come to mind: It's Wally's girl and that's what he wants. And the one I'm going to stick with because it sounds logical. She's got a giant head and a tiny body. Her breastworks are the transition point or part of it at least. They help hide the fact that a neck to fit that head has a circumference larger than her hips. They are a size that works both with the head and the body at least in caricature. The perspective from each point of view is drastically different.

And then lastly everything is going to shrink. I have to start out oversize. That nose. You guys have oaken prairie gnomes in Finland?

I would say no aspect of her face is refined enough to be a feature yet......well maybe the wide cheeks.

SR

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21 minutes ago, ScottR said:

That nose. You guys have oaken prairie gnomes in Finland?

I guess noses like that are more common in the West where @Prostheta lives. The Eastern preferred shape of a female nose is short, straight and uniformly narrow(-ish). The West is also more like prairie, we have hills that translate to "danger". Also, oaks are much more common in the West. Here in the East they only grow in parks.

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The earlier jokes reminded me of this:

I once made my sister pull into a gas station and ask if they could check her muffler springs because “her brother said that’s probably whats making that noise”. We sat in the car and watched the mechanic try to hold it together until she exploded.

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10 hours ago, komodo said:

The earlier jokes reminded me of this:

I once made my sister pull into a gas station and ask if they could check her muffler springs because “her brother said that’s probably whats making that noise”. We sat in the car and watched the mechanic try to hold it together until she exploded.

<_<

Classic!

Which one exploded, your sister or the mechanic?

:killinme

SR

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My wife walked by today ....and walked back did a double take and said those are some...mumble mumble mumble as she walked through the garage,

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She never did a double take whilst walking past one of my guitar builds.:huh:

Wally says what's the big deal? One of my cheeks is bigger than either one of those.

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And then he resorted to high school locker room humor and said have you seen my hands? How do they look like they would fit?

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I don't know where Wally came up with locker room humor. I made him. I know where he has been . A locker room ain't on the list.

Perspective.

It must be considered whilst viewing anything...and everything.

SR

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My son turned 35 last week

Wow, that is kind of stunning to see in black and white.

Annie got another Jason Isbell concert in the garage this weekend. He has said that his parents were not much older than he was.  Mom was 17 and dad was 19 when he was born. My folks were only a few months older than that when I was born. It made me think. Jason wrote this song for his dad when he was about 22. I did the math and learned I was pretty much his parent's age.

I never wrote them a song as good as this though.

 

SR

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Boy oh boy oh boy, live oak gets really hard and tough as it dries. Wally's going to have a rough ol' cob when Annie breaks free. Wally said he ain't skeered. He's been seasoning for decades.

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I uncovered some evidence of knottiness in Annie's past. I was able to remove most of it....there are still a couple of beauty  marks. that's what we are calling them-- on her right shoulder. There was a pretty big one just off her right hip. It had a stem and bark inclusions. It turned out not to be part of Annie, but the growth pattern went crazy around it.  Carving got pretty tricky in that area.

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I swear she's trying to wiggle....

SR

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11 hours ago, mistermikev said:

something innocent yet sneaky

Yeah.

She's thinking up all kinds of mischievousness, but she's stuck in that live oak, and the frustrations are building. 

Of course she couldn't see where to aim her little tricks anyway.

Oh Wally......

And thanks!

SR

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Yes.

It is normal for oaken prairie gnomes to have short legs and big feet.

No matter how that fits in with the rest of them....

Annie has been pokin' around and mumbling about fat thighs....and she can't even see a  mirror.

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Of all this pics I've posted, this one feels the most naughty......

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She's a little bit pigeon toed...to add to that innocence look.

SR

 

 

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13 hours ago, RonMay said:

She really doesn't know what she's talking about. She can't even see her feet let alone her thighs. :)

Ron

I know right?

It's my own damn fault. I gave her a mouth and left her eyes for last. What a weapon I armed her with. I should have given her eyes and left her mouth for last. I was afraid of the destructive power. If she could see everything that was going on and not able to comment or express her opinion....well that would be a Richter scale event on a hair trigger. The safest place would be offshore somewhere.:D

SR

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6 hours ago, ScottR said:

She's a little bit pigeon toed...to add to that innocence look

I was going to say, 'nice touch', but in these #metoo times, I'd better just say, 'that is a keenly observed feature of a common anatomical variation of skeletal development.'

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11 hours ago, Andyjr1515 said:

I was going to say, 'nice touch', but in these #metoo times, I'd better just say, 'that is a keenly observed feature of a common anatomical variation of skeletal development.'

Well put, Andy.

Speaking of skeletal development, just imagine how strong her back must be. Her spine must be made of ,,,,,well, live oak.:P

SR

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On 9/8/2020 at 1:43 AM, Andyjr1515 said:

I was going to say, 'nice touch',

Considering some of the positions she gets in whilst being carved, I'd be a goner if the #metoo police wandered by.

I've been working in the netherlands mostly. Or perhaps it's down under, or maybe the underworld.....and all those clever puns are going to be missed completely, because you guys aren't going to see past her mishap.

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One of those radial cracks you see went nearly all the way through her foot.

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I've been getting her boots fitted and making her legs longer.

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I hope to get her into a smaller size later. Got to see what the balance is like after her hair gets done.

And like real life getting her hair done is going to take For, Ever.

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Had to put Annie in traction.

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SR

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Because the wood has splits and fissures anyway, presumably the join at the foot will be pretty much invisible @ScottR ?

I like the carve at the top of the boots.  Again, because they are such a deep projections from the leg, you really have to know you are going to be doing this way before the chisel gets anywhere near the wood.

Do you have detailed drawings from multiple angles or are you doing it (forgive the pun) on the hoof?

Remarkable to see the process in this level of detail. 

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In spite of (if I recall) Scott being in the field where things are drawn out, he rarely seems to do so. If ever. What I do know, is that Scott likely started with a piece of wood and started taking bits off, subsequently he ends up discovering a guitar, a gnome or a beer inside. Fortune cookie on a different magnitude?

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