Kevan, don't worry, I read your post the first time around... But the LSR tuners are more expensive than the Steinbergs! So that's a no-go, too.
Sorry guys, I think the tuner-in-the-body approach is how I'm going. I was playing my Tele tonight, and with the back panel removed, there is more than enough space to reach back and tune easily. It might be a pain, but meh, it'll look cool. People will wonder where the extra strings come from!
So, pre-slotted nut, SLIGHTLY thicker neck, ferrules in the headstock, tuners up top, and tuners in the back. Everything else is just like normal, I guess? Now I need to find some SMALL tuners that don't cost over $100!
Any other ideas you guys would like to throw at someone who's about to "have the runs and be outta toilet paper?"
If it sucks, I let you laugh at me later.
Andy