Occupational Hazards Of A Bassist

[skibum5545]

Well, there's always being crushed by your gear or getting electrocuted by a bad outlet, but there's one other--and much more dire-- threat to bassists worldwide: bad church musicals.

That's right, it seems churches always need basses for various pageants, and you tend to get sucked into them before you have a chance to realize what you've signed yourself up for. This morning, I played bass for a Unitarian Universalist Congregation's production of "Guys and Dolls and UU's Too!", a show wherein they take the music from Guys and Dolls, and change the lyrics and storyline to preach the UU principles of respect and coexistence, and tell a story, in this case about gay marriage and conversion of fundamentalists to the UU way of life.

It was a truly scarring experience.

Anyway, just thought I'd share this experience with all of you as a cautionary tale. Was it really worth the $100 they paid me to learn 15 songs in 4 days and sit through 8 hours of rehearsal and performance of what can only be called a massacre of the good name of musicals? That's up for debate. Bassists, -please- look before you leap!

[bluespresence]

you have my sympathy.........cuts heal, scars are forever!!

[Gorecki]

If it makes you feel any better my first paying gig was as the drummer in a polka band!

[lovekraft]

Oh.no! Been there, done that! Musical theater is the great crippler of young adults - if it doesn't pay union scale and include at least 5 rehearsals, just say "No!"! Edited May 23, 2005 by lovekraft

[thedoctor]

Do you remember that Cheech and Chong routine about Mr. Rodgers interviewing a bass player? The bass player figures out that he is getting paid a lot of money for each note he "puts out there" and it gets him through the gig. Union-scale rules!!

[marksound]

Can you say Egg McMuffin?

[thedoctor]

AAA ma mufin, yeah! Oh no, it's a little early for me. Thanks, man.

Oh yeah, I whip it whap it whomp it.

Edited May 27, 2005 by thedoctor

[marksound]

The, you crack me up. Can I call you "The?" Or do you prefer "Mr. Doctor?"

[erikbojerik]

My sympathies...

Not to hijack, but...a church PAID you to play??? Man...that would never ever happen at our place; OK it's not exactly a worship service, but still...

To play on our music team, you (1) have to be a church member; (2) you have to want to do it (we let people know there are openings, but we don't ask people); and (3) you have to fill out a questionaire and be vetted by the music minister. In short, you have to believe what you are singing/playing because you're really in a position of leading people.

It may sound onerous, but it makes for a really committed band. We've actually gone an entire month or two here or there without a drummer (at least drum tracks keep perfect time!) but, when a new team member comes on board, he's gung ho.

[thedoctor]

I go by thedoctor, no spaces except between my ears. As union musicians, we don't do nothin' fer free and we dang well shouldn't. It is how we make a living. If the church wants free music they better talk to someone who doesn't need the money or is a member of said church. My own temple pays both myself and my son when we play for services. It is only right as we pay our lawyers, custodians and rabbis, most of whom are members.

My monicker has been the same for forty years and it lets people in the industry know exactly who they are going to be dealing with. I am NOT the Doctor, as in Doctor John but we are buds.

[weaponepsilon]

First off, your mistake was to play in a church musical...I'd never be caught dead in a church.

Here's a really interesting story if you like Jesus musicals...

My dad was in a (then) famous 60's Minneapolis surf band that went national. During the course of his tours, his prize Dan Electro Bass cracked in half. He went out and replaced it with a brand new Fender Jazz Master bass. (I've never heard of it although he's since worn off the name on it.) Now years gone by, Pops never once abused his bass nor did he ever break a string. Some guy in a local production company wanted to borrow this bass because of the way it sounded. This troupe was the first ever production of that "Jesus Christ Superstar" and they went around with Dad's bass. Eventually he gets it back and it had seen some heavy wear and tear. My dad had been on the road and gigging with this bass for over 30 years at that time. Some jerk borrows it and practically wears it out in less than a year. If any one has the original score to this play, they're listening to my dads bass.

Lesson learned: Never let anyone play your axe let alone take off with it for a year.

[skibum5545]

Let someone else borrow my bass for a year?! I wouldn't ever dream of it!

Actally, the UU congregation has a special fund set up for paying people outside the congregation for gigs like this. I suspect it's because the congregation has no members that play bass well enough. Also, "membership" is a bit of a strong term for the whole UU setup. It seems that people sort of come and go as they please.

[QweziRider]

It could be worse. Try a year on bass with Up With People.

Bruce

[thedoctor]

Even worse, a tour as PA and sound tech for Barney, the big purple dinosuar, He is a royal PRICK! That's why they call him a tyranosoreass.