what i think...i need to work on songwriting and phrasing, which is what i said.
i posted the link to see what the "general" guitar playing community would think. not just the shred heads, when i posted in a shred forum i didnt get one bad comment, so i posted here to see what the general consensus would be so i could see what other people thought.
what exactly do you mean?
Okay, songwriting and phrasing. It sounds as though you have a good idea of what you're emulating but it's been done and been done more correctly. Regardless of that, you're lacking correct theory behind those changes. I've heard you play straight major over suggested dominants, minor scale like phrasing over major suggested chords, minor penta's is fine, but would turn what you're doing into basic blues, not your intention would be my guess, suggesting you need theory work. Just because you're not playing the 3rd doesn't mean the listener doesn't hear it! Harmonically you've already decided harmonic scope by the key signature you're playing inside. The ear expects it, especially a trained one.
The thing that is otherwise lacking in songwriting is the key number one required element that constitutes a song. Melody! Not just flailing over changes. Melody! Especially in the style you've chosen, melody has a higher requirement of technical correctness with correct embellishment. Listen to Bach, Mozart, Gorecki , you'll hear Melody!
If your intended listener likes what you're doing, at least you're getting that result. And when presenting to a "general" guitar crowd, don't expect to get "exprienced" responses.
Cool?