At this moment I dont give a tinkers damn if that was serious sarcastic.
First of all, in my experience, even S4S wood needs to be planed/jointed on the gluing surfaces.
Secondly, $50 worth of clamps? Ok, I buy 6" cabinet clamps for around $6 to $8, and 36" ones for $8 to $12. I have 2 36" ones. Dont need more. The things are cheap. I have used shrink wrap before, and it did adequately for the few times I used it, but wasted manhours and security are justification to go spend $15. And in all seriousness, your "tricky clamping thing" or whatever, seems to be rather time consuming and inaccurate. Buy some clamps. You wont regret it. Deep jawed C clamps are indespenible as well.